elephants' feet

=== I can't believe elephants' feet.
===== Me neither, just pulverizing stumps . . . but sometimes they are like soggy bags.
=== I think you could use an elephant's foot turned upside down as a dinner table.
===== For sure the ones that aren't too soggy.
=== Here's your table.
===== It's weird how their toenails grow straight into the ground. It seems like that would cause problems, like you are always stomping the nail back up to where it grew out of.
=== I never thought of that. Like if we were kicking the wall all day long.
===== Yeah, exactly. But kicking it with a foot that weighed 3 tons.

Nikolas May won't go away

}} Your eye just changed, I saw it.
]] You saw my eye change?
}} Yeah. Watch, I'll do something with my eyes.
((He does something with his eyes))
]] Was that a stare?
}} It wasn't a stare. It was a force.
]] Do you know what that's called?
}} No, what?
]] Fresh Eyes.

Nikolas May

}} Did you have a nightmare?
{{ No.
}} I did.
{{ Was it scary?
}} Yeah, but also funny.
{{ Let's hear this funny nightmare.
}} And scary.
{{ Let's hear this funny/scary nightmare.
}} There was this guy, with BIG eyes. He's called the Lovemonster. And he wanted my toys. When I told him no his face got mad, like this.

most gracious landlord is bored

Ω Hey I bought some shaving stuff online and I shipped it to your address 'cause I don't know my new one yet. Just so you know.
∂ Who do you think you are?
Ω A former tenant to a most gracious landlord, why?
∂ Just making sure we think you are the same person.

awesome treat

:: Do you like necco?

:::: No. Not really.
:::::: Once when I was about 9 our neighbor lady gave us some of those and I think she thought it was an awesome treat.

mysteries of body, full-length

:: I have been a little sick. I will just keep it up, and probably get my tonsils out.
:: I want mine out so bad! I always daydream of the perfected body which doens't get sore throats or tonsil poops! I had the biggest tonsil poop in the world the other day. I wanted to barf it was so big.
:: Is a tonsil poop the yellow bead of poop smell?
:: Yeah, yellow/white. Super smelly.
:: Yeah. Those come from tonsils?
:: LUDICROUS smelly if you squish it.
:: I KNOW.
:: Yup.
:: Where did you learn that?
:: It was a recent discovery that they came from tonsils.
:: HOLY CRAP. Have we ever talked about them before? Me and my brother always do, but it seems like no one else ever knows what we're talking about.
:: Well me and my friend Gabe kind of put it together from personal experiences. and I now know it to be true because sometimes I can feel that there's one back there and if I open way wide and look in with proper light, I can see it comeing out, pooping out if you will...
:: Really??
:: And one time since me and Gabe came up with that, I was at the doctor for being kind of sick and I had been having extra tonsil poops and he looked in my mouth and was like "Oh yeah, for sure blah blah blah is wrong. Looks like you have got red tonsils, with [i can't remember the doctor's word for tonsil poop] on them."
:: Whoa. I'm so glad I'm learning this.
:: I don't know if we have talked about them before. I talked about it with Dallan and Tyler. Dallan knows all about them. He can reach back with his finger and grab them whenever he wants. Tyler has never had one in his life.
:: Those were probably the biggest unsolved mystery in my life
:: I think it's puss or rot of some sort. Or sore throat in its purest form. Sometimes leftover from sickness of the past.
:: My brother first taught me to squish them. Then I was blown away.
:: Yeah Gabe taught me. In fact I never realized they even smelled before Gabe. So I smelled the next one and was so grossed out. Then I was blown away when I squished one. The sickest thing ever. It's so smelly that I am convinced that they are the root of all bad breath.
:: Now I know it's my tonsils' fault.
:: And I always imagine that tonsils are just a bag full of those.
:: Seems like if they stayed in long enough they might turn into pearls though.
:: So stinky of pearls. Have you ever been able to feel one back there? I can sometimes, then i have to do all sorts of crazy crap to get it to poop out.
:: Yeah. Sometimes. I feel it coming and I kind of push it out.
:: But it's true that a lot of people have no idea. Either they didn't put enough thought into it, or else they don't get them.
:: Yeah. I think a lot of people would probably think it's just old food coming out of teeth or something. They've never squished them and recognized them as something far different, separate and way stinky.
:: I think maybe that's what I used to think a long time ago? Old bread or something. Hamburger bun.
:: Yeah. I never even thought about them.
:: Spencer sent me a link to all the body parts you can live without. I want to get them all out.
:: Cool. are there lots?
:: Yeah like 25. Various weird little fake organs and bones and muscles.
:: What about like eyebrows? And boy nipples. Can we survive without those?
:: Yes. definitely. But they can be stimulated to produce milk apparently. I guess through some sort of hormones.
:: Another reason to get rid of them.
:: That would be fun to try. Make our own milk.
:: Eww.
:: Would you drink it?!?!?!
:: No way.
:: Yeah but would you rather drink your own or someone else's?
:: I bet mine, unless it looked way grosser. If mine was greenish and yours was all white, I'd probably drink yours.
:: Good point. I hope mine is white.

Napster

::o:: You know that Maria Taylor album you gave me? And its case?
o::o Yeah.
::o:: And the wooden form?
o::o Yeah.
::o:: And the necklace it's wearing?
o::o Yeah.
::o:: And the pendant on the necklace?
o::o Yeah.
::0:: And the figure on the pendant?
o::o Yeah.
::o:: I think that's a napster.
o::o Oh my gosh you're right.

Married Life

:::: I feel like being married would make working so much easier, just have a boring schedule and go to bed at like 10.
:: Being married would be so easy. You're not out to all hours of the night with your girlfriend.
:::: Yeah, instead you can just go to sleep and you don't even have to talk to her. Because I am imagining you probably run out of things to say when you are married. Or at least I would hope so.
:: I think she keeps telling you she wants a kid.
:::: Oh yeah. What do you even say to that?

What's Going On

:: I'm not like, "Here's what's going on."
:::: Maybe coz nobody's like, "What's going on?"
:: Maybe.
:::: I'm sorry.