Real Salt Lake Playoffs // Game 1 // Nov. 1, 4pm

› So you got your tickets from Mr. Barnes?
» Yep. Up on the balcony. I think I’m going to like them. Have you been up there?
› No. I’d be interested to see what it’s like.
» I’m afraid I might like them better than my season tickets.
› If there’s enough interest I hope they offer them for season tickets.
» Yeah. That’d be perfect, based on liking to see the entire field. And I’m not like Darren—I don’t need the players and refs to hear me.
› They don’t hear him. That’s the thing. He hears himself and that’s enough. Hearing himself is all the vindication he needs.

where does denver do its pizza

§ I think we should eat at the best pizza place in all of Denver while we're there.
£ A Denver local recommended Beau Jo's. One problem though, the local is a girl.
§ Girls can't be trusted in pizza matters. According to Citysearch the best pizza is Virgilio's Napoletana.
£ Then again, Citysearch has The Pie at #1 and Litza's at #4, with only 3 good places in the top 10.
§ Beau Jo's website has someone mountain biking on pizza though.
£ That is undeniable.

first cassava

• I just realized that that cake tastes like a sweet, soft, moist, cheeseless Cheeto.
• Sick.
• I'm serious. I tasted Cheeto. It was good.
• Cheetos are a scourge on this earth.
• You oppose them?
• The whole world should reject them. They are vile. No cheese is bright orange. Without artificial means.
• Indeed. But you love the Tagalog cake.
• Cassava cake.

the temple, your nuptials

»» Dude, another ex of yours is sealed forever!!!!
» Shhhh. She's online. She could hear you.
»» I know, sorry, that was loud. What's ttyn? Is that secret married code?
» I guess. I was trying to figure it out.
»» Are you allowed to chat with her?
» No way! You're not either. She's married.
»» Ta ta you numbskull...?
» Hey, yeah?
»» I think that's what it is.
» Nincompoop?
»» Does she love Mean Girls?
» I wouldn't put it past her. She loves some movies. Take turns yes no.
»» Hmmmm. To Tom yield necking....? Is Tom her husband's name?
» Almost. It's not, though. Take time young neighbor. Maybe tool time, young neighbor. Isn't that what Wilson says?
»» Hmmm, maybe. Another favorite show of hers?
» Yeah. Tim Taylor, your neighbor.

better than monday

» Are you in that meeting? I totally forgot about it.
» Meeting?
» Apparently our quarterly update meeting was today at 8:30.
» Huh. Oops.
» Don't worry, we can hear it through the floor.

preservingmarriage.org // proposition eight // video 1

• I don’t see how same sex marriage really hurts anyone else. Really, what’s the harm?
• If Proposition 8 fails, there are a whole bunch of consequences. Did you know that churches that rent out their facilities for marriages could be forced to allow same sex marriage ceremonies on their properties?
• And because the California Supreme Court has made same sex marriage a fundamental right, legal defenses based on religious freedoms are less likely to succeed.
• If Proposition 8 fails, religious adoption agencies may be forced to place children in same sex marriages or discontinue providing adoption services altogether. That’s what happened with Catholic charities in Massachusetts after its courts imposed same sex marriages.
• Based on past experience, those who oppose same sex marriage on religious grounds will be increasingly labeled as intolerant, and subjected to legal penalties or social ridicule; it’s already happening in the debate over Prop 8. Some who support traditional marriage are having their careers threatened. This won’t be limited to California as its powerful influence is felt across the country.
• Did you know that nearly all public schools in California provide education about health and sexuality? If Prop 8 fails, children will be taught that marriage is between Party A and Party B, regardless of gender.
• Children will be taught that same sex marriages are the equal of traditional marriages. There will be serious clashes between the public schools and parents who desire to teach their children their own values and beliefs.
• If Proposition 8 fails, it will affect everyone. For example, the change of the legal definition of marriage could narrow personal liberties. Some have already been lost—like photographers who prefer not to photograph gay weddings and doctors who prefer not to perform artificial insemination of gays, even when there are other willing doctors.
• It’s been said, “the right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.” You see, although the argument of redefining marriage is couched in happiness or equal rights, it’s really about gaining control, forcing all of us to give up the very foundation of speech and religious freedoms on which this country was founded.

big furniture worship

• Hey, I was wondering if you could help us out with something. We need a bunch of guys to help us move the couch upstairs downstairs. And the couch downstairs upstairs. And the same with both big screens. Can you help with a bunch of people today?
» Do you have to move them tonight? I'm in St. George, and I'll probably get home between 8 and 9. I'd be happy to help tomorrow. Is it a necessity tonight?
• Yeah, a necessity tonight. If you could get 5 guys that would be awesome.
» Are you in church?
• No.
» Okay. If you could text me the reason for the Sunday night move and a time, I can text my roommate at church, and he could ask for volunteers in quorum.
• We just can't move some of it cuz it's heavy. James wants the basement all to himself and all of us upstairs, so we have to flip-flop everything. It wouldn't take even an hour.
» I still don't understand why it can't wait until tomorrow. I don't feel good about enlisting people to work on Sunday doing something that could be done Monday.
• Because this is the last day I will have off for a while and same for them.
» Well I could probably grab a couple guys when I get back. Who planned this thing anyway?
• Nobody, we just all have today off.

jim carrey, my secretary (secrecarrey)

» Hey I'm going to be a few minutes late, as nature started to call just as I was walking out the door!

» Who is this, Ace Ventura?

» Allllrighty then!

matthew 18:1–4

• Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
• Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.