i couldn't have said it better myself. no one could.

} I like thinking of a literal "power point" though. Like this dot glowing with power.
) hahaha. But what kind of power?
} I don't know. I never got that far. Not priesthood.

) Wizard power?

} haha I like that. I laughed until I coughed.

in and out

) i like the looks of this weather! all snow piles are nearly gone! oh i guess i should go check on the snow-keep in the gateway parking lot... the pile of snow there is SO HUGE. under the overpass.
) my garage ice speed bumps have melted away.
) excellent. now you can roll out of your garage with ease?
) yes! and fast. with speed.

morning monolahg

} Stupid bet.
} Not stupid bet. Awesome bet.
} Awesome thing to say.
} Not awesome thing to say. Stupid thing to say.
} Overall: awesome thing to say.

looks like type

) is that what you're doing right neow?
) i can't decide if "neow" looks more like "neon" or "meow."
) it looks like "neo wow."

holding up my end

) Who is that cowboy guy again? That video you sent me? Of that cowboy? Who was that? What was that?
) Doug Radnitch?
) Yeah. I just couldn't remember that name. And I knew it was a memorable name. Okay.
) Doug Radnitch.

EDIT: probably spelled radnich(?)

the earth quoke me up

} I woke up and could've sworn my bed was shaking.
} My exact thoughts! I was like, "Why in the world is my bed shaking? It does not shake."
} I thought maybe for some reason just I was shaking in my bed.
} Rad! I just had my first earthquake! First of many I hope!
} Yeah! I'm happy because I totally slept through one in St. George and everyone was talking about it, but I was not a part of it.
} That sucks!
} I've waited many years for this.
} Now you are the one you will tell them the tale of an earthquake!
} Precisely.

mean?

) he told me he has 3 valentines! i guarentee zero valentines.
) yeah. he was telling me that too over the internet. and how they aren't "officially his valentines" but how he can joke with them and be all, "hey, it's valentine's day, so..." you know.
) yea he said that exact sentence to me.
) of course he did.
) like they will go along with it and then forget they aren't his valentine. and all the sudden there's three babes in his bed.
) and somehow he believes it. insanely optimistic.
) he actually beleives 3 out of 3 will show up instead of 0!!! . . . 3!!!!!!
) i wish i could watch each one as he delivers his valentimes line.
) when he delivers it to their voicemail.

way out in the eagle mountain of albequerque. freaks.

} Out of temp housing yet?

} Yeah. In an apartment twice the size of our Salt Lake one. Real nice. Room. But we're going to build a house. Got a lot right now, just working out the plans and a loan. It should be built in about 6 months

} That sounds very very nice

} Yeah, I think it will rock. It's affordable to us only because it's in the undeveloped part of town. Kinda like Eagle Mountain only not so far away.

} Ha. Albequerque's Eagle Mountain. That is adventuresome. I just pulled a 3-inch-long hair from the back of my arm, just blowing in the breeze. gross.

} Um, regarding the hair, was that your own or a guest?
} Ha. It was mine. Growing rampantly unchecked. A rogue, mind you.

} Yeesh. I hate those. I sometimes get a long hair in my eyebrow.

} They are a nuisance.

} And they're lighter in color. Freaks.

girl talk goes full circle

) I just mean people like the idea of me more than the actuality of me. They like the idea of being with an artsy type, etc.
} Alright... I guess that's you, the artsy type. Maybe the idea of you is just so good that it's hard to live up to. Therefore, I propose that you need to change the idea of you. No more of this artsy stuff.
) What do you mean?
} No more black turtlenecks and French berets ...seriously, I don't know. I'm pretty sure I wasn't being too serious.
) I know. 
} How into the aquarium idea are you these days, on a scale of Shrimp to Whale? •((the shorthand scale))•

) Haha. I'd still love to see it.
} Hmmm. Interestingly worded. No sea creatures whatsoever...
) A sea turtle then.
} Eh, okay.
) More than an urchin for sure. But less than a great white. Or something.
} Ha. Yeah. I know where the sea turtle fits in the scale. I think it means you like the idea of it more than the actuality of it. Or maybe the opposite.

Scale of Shrimp to Whale

1.shrimp 2.crab 3.urchin 4.eel 5.sea turtle 6.octopus 7.dolphin 8.shark 9.sailboat 10.whale

a valuable lesson // part 3 •//• i'm a real-life idiot sometimes // part 3 as well

(via text message)
} Am I seriously G-chatting with your sister about rubbers?
) Ha, ha ha. That is funny, outloud. Wow, I'm sorry, I need to tell her to sign out. Wow.
} Man, I am dying here.
) Ha, I'm laughing out loud in my filing room, filing and laughing. Sorry man, that was a mean trick on you.
} Yeah, but a well-devised lesson on not using pervert metaphors.
) Ha, I'm glad to hear that the lesson was learned.

a valuable lesson // part 2 •//• i'm a real-life idiot sometimes // part 2 as well

(via messenger program)
} You still got your rubber on?
) This is his sister. He called from work to have me check his email, I promise.
} 4-Slyce...
) And what rubber are you referring to, should I be worried? I promise this is Marian, you can even call him, he's filing for $XX/hour.
} Ha. It's a metaphorical rubber. Awesome.
) Gotcha. Glad it's metaphorical :)

a valuable lesson // part 1 •//• i'm a real-life idiot sometimes // part 1 as well

(via phone call)
) So, we’ll keep in touch.
} Yeah. Let’s keep the rubber where it meets the road.
) Yeah. Okay. We’ll be in contact about the slumber party.
} K. We’ll keep our rubbers on.
) ! ??
} That’s the new metaphor for keeping in touch.
) Alright.
} Okay. Let’s keep our rubbers on. Later.
) Bye.

protectin' the box // diffusin' the aftershox

V C'mon, Joel. I'd rather not get these mega-mass-madness emails—that's just not what this account is for. Thanks, man.
+ Clifton. You are something else! Don't worry I won't send you a d*mn thing again!
V Ha. Joel. I knew you'd understand. Sorry for being so protective of my inbox, but I'm just kinda particular about this one. How's life in the branch?
+ Clifton. It is good, and life is good! How are you doing?

i love DI folk

DI—Is it cold in here?
Me/I—It's not so bad.
DI—I had to pull a jacket off one of the racks.
Me/I—Well I'm doing okay.
DI—You'll understand when you're my age and a woman.